My Story
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This site is really about going back to the beginning, but before I can do that I think it’s important for me to
first go back 3 years into the past because this was when my life began to unravel and fall apart and it’s
been from that time to the present moment that I’ve learned as much as I have about CIO and the long term
damage that it can cause.
In the spring of 2004, life seemed to be going pretty well for me. I was volunteering for the local Fire
Department; and, because of my body building physique I was chosen to be in the Fire Department
Calendar for the following year. The photo shoot had gone great and I have to admit I was proud of the
picture. I had recently left my IT position and had begun selling life and health insurance, and although I
wasn’t doing great I was just making enough to stay afloat financially.
But something wasn’t right. Even though I had the determination, staying motivated became harder and
harder, and it began affecting my sales.
Unknown to me at the time, my mind was in the process of shutting down. In November of 2001, my wife of
10 ½ years and I decided to divorce. The divorce was finalized in February of 2002. During the fall of 2003, I
received word that one of my younger brothers (who I was very close to when we were younger but had lost
touch with) was in prison. Although I was feeling pretty good at the time from a grief standpoint, the truth of
the matter was that I hadn’t completely finished grieving over my divorce and the news about my brother just
crushed me.
Later on that year, I found out from him that he was very sick and he was afraid that he would indeed die in
prison. This news came around November of that year.
I was already making preparations to go into selling insurance and in January of 2004, I gave my notice and
left the company to pursue my goal.
What I didn’t realize was that a process had begun. You see, I was subjected to both facets of CIO as an
infant and toddler. What I didn’t realize was that my emotional and developmental foundation had been built
on infant trauma and abandonment. So when I received the news regarding my brother on top of the grief
from my divorce, I didn’t have the mental and emotional tools to handle it and my fragile emotional
foundation was shattered. I actually experienced a small mental and emotional breakdown and this caused
my mind to begin shutting down in order to try to cope with the experience.
1 2 3 Next
first go back 3 years into the past because this was when my life began to unravel and fall apart and it’s
been from that time to the present moment that I’ve learned as much as I have about CIO and the long term
damage that it can cause.
In the spring of 2004, life seemed to be going pretty well for me. I was volunteering for the local Fire
Department; and, because of my body building physique I was chosen to be in the Fire Department
Calendar for the following year. The photo shoot had gone great and I have to admit I was proud of the
picture. I had recently left my IT position and had begun selling life and health insurance, and although I
wasn’t doing great I was just making enough to stay afloat financially.
But something wasn’t right. Even though I had the determination, staying motivated became harder and
harder, and it began affecting my sales.
Unknown to me at the time, my mind was in the process of shutting down. In November of 2001, my wife of
10 ½ years and I decided to divorce. The divorce was finalized in February of 2002. During the fall of 2003, I
received word that one of my younger brothers (who I was very close to when we were younger but had lost
touch with) was in prison. Although I was feeling pretty good at the time from a grief standpoint, the truth of
the matter was that I hadn’t completely finished grieving over my divorce and the news about my brother just
crushed me.
Later on that year, I found out from him that he was very sick and he was afraid that he would indeed die in
prison. This news came around November of that year.
I was already making preparations to go into selling insurance and in January of 2004, I gave my notice and
left the company to pursue my goal.
What I didn’t realize was that a process had begun. You see, I was subjected to both facets of CIO as an
infant and toddler. What I didn’t realize was that my emotional and developmental foundation had been built
on infant trauma and abandonment. So when I received the news regarding my brother on top of the grief
from my divorce, I didn’t have the mental and emotional tools to handle it and my fragile emotional
foundation was shattered. I actually experienced a small mental and emotional breakdown and this caused
my mind to begin shutting down in order to try to cope with the experience.
1 2 3 Next
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